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Thursday, July 22, 2010

Just a little lost

Today has be a difficult day of me, in more ways than one.
  First there was the difficulty of getting all my work done and done well; second, I had a little I guess you could say breakdown when I spent a half hour trying to get the horses in. Just as they were heading for the gate Shyanne{the leadmare, by the way} took off down into the lower pasture and went all the way to the highway, the other horses following close behind. I was so angry I just stormed back in the house and left them to do as they jolly well pleased. Then tonight at a quarter past ten Da caught his horse and after awhile was able to chase the others into the pen{and on his birthday too}. He wasn't happy that I had skived off just because I was upset, after all the golden rule of horsemanship is to control your emotions so that they don't translate to the horse. So now I feel like a failure in one way or another; because I didn't have time to clean the water tank, I couldn't get the horses in.
 Then to top it all one of my friends is now "in a relationship". It wouldn't be a bad thing... if it wasn't her. I know her and how this is going to change her. She conforms to peer pressure like no one else I've ever known. I want her to stay the sweet girl she is and not the stereotypical highschooler she wants to become.  I don't know what to do. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed and overtired.

I'm sorry if this is a rant you don't want to read, but I had to get my feelings straightened out, and the best way I know how to is to write. So I think I'm going to go find comfort by reading my Bible, praying for strength and wisdom, and turn out the lights to hopefully awake tomorrow ready to take on the challenges I could not face today.

-Gwyn

3 comments:

  1. (((hug))) I know the feeling. One day with Indy, I just climbed a tree out in the pasture and cried because it had been such a terrible ride.

    You know how to make yourself feel better, that's for sure. Prayer and the word of God does miracles. :) Literally!

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  2. (((hug))) I know how you feel also, when I feel Sad or let out i go and get my Guitar and just kind-a make up a little tune and the words depend on how I am feeling

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  3. *hugs tightly, then lets go to let you breath again*
    I'm sorry what happened to you that day, just remember that EVERYONE has bad days, sometimes even worse. (Trust me, I know *looks shamefully away*)
    Just remember that whatever happens, happens for a reason for God's Glory and His Magnificent Plan for all of us.
    Keep doing what you do when you feel down on the dumps, and remember that you are never alone. :)

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