The majority of my followers (probably YOU, if you're reading this) are, like me, aspiring authors; or perhaps you just write down your imaginings because you feeling the need to bring it to life. Either way, have you ever slipped into your character's skin? I have many times and enjoy it immensely.
Today I had the odd thought to write a letter penned by Cilla. It was more than a thought, really. It was as if I had to write it; to explore her world through her eyes. And so, I became Cilla and wrote home to Tovah. Wether I will add this to the actual book or not, I don't yet know. If I do, it will be in the second one when she is around 17 or 18.
Salvete!{Latin greeting} (See? I'm learning!)
So much has happened since you dumped me here that I know not where to start!
Lady Erin has been very kind to me, almost like a sister. I respect her beyond measure. Can you imagine, being governor over one of the largest fiefs in Ithreal at twenty-four? And well does she do it too. I doubt any man could do better in her place. I think that is why the King allows her to continue without having to marry as tradition goes. Heaven forbid a woman be put in charge of something more than embroidery! I'm glad to see this new king has seen his father's idiocy and has relaxed some of the laws that bind women to simplicity. But I stray...
Ben{I think I've mentioned him before? He's my personal tutor for all my studies. The young scholar?} anyway, he says my script has improved greatly and I have to agree, though, I'm nowhere near as good as him{or should that be he? The grammar world varies so much...} with his curling calligraphy and flourishes. How he can know so much about books and papers and such at his young age is beyond me.
We get on quite well. Well, mostly. He is very patient with me and does not get angry when I get frustrated. I must confess, however, that one day last week did not go smoothly.
It was during arithmetic{the one subject I absolutely loath}. It was also nearly dinner time and I had been in his stuffy study all day, and you how how short tempered I get. I couldn't solve the last problem and he wouldn't let me let me leave until I got it. After a half an hour and nothing but miles of scratched-out figures I had nearly had enough. At last I thought I got it and handed him my latest try, steaming a bit, only to have Ben glance it and hand it back telling me to try again.
I lost it I tell you.
I remember throwing back my chair and demanding what the point of the whole blasted arithmetic was, using words I haven't said since my... ahem ... rather 'unguided' childhood. Ben remained stubbornly calm, though I recall his features flushed a bit. He began explaining as only he can, but, for the life of me I can't remember any of what he said. A heated argument ensued, and, I regret to say, I threw 'Advande's Grammare'{a nice heavy book} at him. I missed on purpose, but it did make him dodge and trip over one of those confounded stacks of books he has laying about everywhere. I stormed from the room angry but triumphant. I was nearly at the door when I knocked into a pile of those ridiculous books myself. I didn't fall, but an open inkwell spilt all down the beautiful green gown I had borrowed from Lady Erin that day. I don't know how to explain how guilty I feel with words. She insisted that I take the green one...
You're shaking you head right now, aren't you?
Oh, is there any girl as utterly and hopelessly stupid as I? If there is than I pity her; but I doubt there is.
I packed my things that night. If, by some miracle, Lady Erin didn't chuck me out straight off, I would leave anyway. I just plain don't belong in castles.
I had just stuck my leg out the bedchamber window to climb out when Erin herself knocked at my door. After convincing me not to jump{she thought I wanted to hurtle to my death!... good thing I hadn't thought of that yet.} We discussed what happened earlier for a long time. She did not chastise or scold as I would have expected, but remained her pleasant self throughout. She didn't make me feel like a worm, but neither did she make me feel good. She told me that it was natural for me to react as I did seeing my normal lifestyle and being thrown head first into academics. But{and its a but the size of your nag's. Joking, Tov, joking...}, she did impress that I should not get violent when frustrated. Where have I heard that before?
She said that if I chose to stay she would give me two days off from studies a week instead of just Sundays. She said it would be better for both Benjamin and me. I reluctantly told her that, if she would allow it, I would stay.
I know how important it is that I stay here, for one reason or another, but before I answered her I thought hard. I wouldn't dream of abandoning my post, but she was offering a me a chance to return home to my usual duties, away from arithmetic and musty lesson books. But then, if half the rumors are true and there is danger here, it is more than my duty to stay and protect her as well as the Chief of Council{and what a stuck up pig he is when Erin isn't around!}.
Ben and I have put aside last week and even laugh about it. It was rather ridiculous, looking back. I was in hysterics as I wrote you of the incident. Can you believe I actually lobbed a book at his head? Don't answer that.
Gana is well. I think she misses the other horses though. She hardly lets me leave when I visit her in the stable. I wish I could take her out on the moores more often. But with my lessons, keeping an eye out for danger, and checking the village once a day, I really have no time to just ride.
Jax{Her mink -G} is a nightmare. He's always going and pestering the guards on the wall -- they've taken to lobbing rocks at him! That is until I heard of it. Brutes. Trying to kill my fur-baby. I bet if they knew he'd nearly died when he was small they wouldn't be so mean. When that little devil isn't up on the walls he's in the kitchens or in the library, making a frightful lot of noise. Poor thing's bored to death. He doesn't like castles any more than I.
I must make the rounds now, before dinner. There's supposed to be a dance too. *bad word*. There have been a few free-lance knights visiting here and glancing my way. They think they're so subtile. Blundering oafs. I wish I could show my true colors and sock them in the eye. But that would give me away. I hate all men. Well, maybe not you. Or Liam. Or Faegan, or the rest of them at home... You know what I mean. I hate "most" men. No, I don't know about that either. Darn it, I hate "these" men! There!
I hope you are well. Please write soon, I feel so isolated from the Annoad.
Your (in)sane friend,
Cilla
